Psalm 91 and George Carlin on ageing

Each week at briefing we gather as a staff body for notices etc and we
include a moment of collective prayer. Quite uncharacteristically I thought
I'd share what was read out at this weeks prayer with you all.
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is
when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about
aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a
half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next
number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm going be 16!" You could be 13, but you're going be
16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words
sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21.

But then you turn 30. What happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He
TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a
sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Put on the brakes, it's
all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are
gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day
thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you
TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you
start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little
kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let
the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop."

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is
with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county;
to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments
that take our breath away.

Psalm 91

Lord, you have been our refuge from age to age. Before the mountains were
born, before the earth or the world came to birth, you were God from all
eternity and for ever. To you, a thousand years are a single day, a
yesterday now over, an hour of the night. Teach us to count how few days we
have and so gain wisdom of heart. Let us wake in the morning filled with
your love and sing and be happy all our days. May the sweetness of the Lord
be upon us! May all we do succeed.